The Nausea Has Won

First, can I just say that I can't believe I'm still posting here?  It still seems unreal, and it's still scary, but thanks to a little check in via doppler, I got to hear both little heartbeats this past week, and that gives me some relief.  I have my second OB appointment this coming week, and I'm nervous, but feeling better since I heard those baby hearts beating so fast.

A new thing that has started this week is gagging and puking.  I thought I might get by without these common pregnancy problems, since the nausea was already pretty bad, and I'd managed not to puke by 11 weeks, but at 11 weeks and 1 day, the nausea won, and the vomiting began.  Yesterday, I couldn't stand the thought of eating anything but fruit, though I managed to choke down a handful of cashews and a small bowl of soup.  When I finally pushed myself to eat some protein, that was too much.  So, that meal and my prenatals were wasted.  My doctor prescribed me Zofran and Reglan, but I was scared to take the Reglan at all, because I've read so many scary things, and my mom said they stopped giving it in the O.R. because people were freaking out and having muscle spasms.  The Zofran I have mixed feelings about since it's had all this bad press lately, but everyone I personally have known who has taken it has had healthy babies, so I'm not terrified of it.  After tossing my cookies last night and just wanting to get some sleep and not puke anymore, I decided to take it, and it did help.  I've heard Diclegis is good, but my insurance won't cover it without all this dumb paperwork and authorizations, so I've been using Unisom (I already take B6), which is one of the two main ingredients, and it helps some but also totally knocks me out.  So my options are sleep and not throw up or get things done and puke and not eat anything but fruit.  I wish I could tough it out and not take anything, but the intense hunger is hard to deal with when I can only stomach fruit, and these babies need some nutrients.   I guess it's good I started off being able to eat just about everything and gained some weight right off the bat.  Maybe these babies can live off my fat until the nausea passes.  My mom and mother in law are visiting this coming week, and they're bringing me two of my favorite foods from home, so I BETTER be able to eat them!

11w3d
Symptoms:  Nausea, vomiting, nasal congestion, slightly sore boobs (mostly only at night), acne, food aversions, hip pain at night
Cravings:  No real cravings.  I pretty much hate everything.
Food aversions:  Everything but fruit.  I can sometimes handle vegetable soup or cashews.

Guess not, Unisom.

Just joking about the Unisom.  It didn't work the second time around, and I'm back to wanting to throw up all day.  Oh well.  I'm feeling like crap for a great cause.  All I want to eat is food from MS that they don't have here.  Looks like it's going to be applesauce instead.

Grow, Babies! Grow, Babies! Grow!

 Today is 10w1d, and the first day I haven't thought I was going to throw up even once (thank you, Unisom, my new friend).  It is also the day I made the transition to my fat clothes.  You know the clothes you're supposed to get rid of when you lose some weight?  Well, I didn't get rid of all of them, and now I'm glad.  It's a good thing I am a procrastinator with boxes full of clothes to get rid of.  I just dug some fat pants out, and now I don't have to feel like I'm going to blow the buttons off my shorts.

We had our ultrasound at the radiology clinic a week ago to determine whether the babies share a placenta (the tech couldn't tell us, and I sure as hell can't tell where their placentas are), and everything looked good.  I almost had a breakdown, because Matt wasn't there yet when they called me back, and I didn't want to go without him, but for some reason, pregnancy makes me LESS emotional (at least the first trimester), so I didn't cry and embarrass myself.  It was my first abdominal ultrasound, so I was scared I didn't drink enough or that she wouldn't be able to see the babies or something, but everything was fine.  The tech was also really sweet, and I told her I was internally freaking out, so she was thorough and let me know each measurement she took and even pointed out to me that Baby A was wiggling!  So cool!  They measured 9w3d and 9w0d and had heart rates of 178 and 181, so I'm pleased with that and was able to calm down just a little and stop expecting the worst.  Matt got there while she was measuring Baby B, so he missed the wiggles, but hopefully he'll feel the wiggles one of these days.

I got a fetal doppler and have practiced with it, since I"ve heard that you will hear your own arteries, the placenta, and all kinds of stomach growls and stuff.  I wanted to know what I WASN'T listening for.  So at 9w5d, I tried it out, and I found both their little heartbeats!!  It was awesome!  Hooray for things I can do at home to keep tabs on these little babes like a typical worrier!  I'm limiting myself to once a week so that I don't go crazy with it, but now that weekly ultrasounds aren't going to be happening, the once a week thing should be plenty.  (And I already know that it's possible to hear them one day and not the next before someone tries to protect me from a potential freak out.)

We didn't get great pictures of Baby A (who is really Baby B according to the transvaginal ultrasounds, I think) because of the angle he/she is at, but here are a couple pics from their last photo shoot.

I obviously can't work a webcam without peeking around to make sure I'm doing it right.

Cravings:  Not really cravings, but things that have been sounding edible are tacos, fruit, burgers, and cheese.

Food Aversions:  The same but not as bad.  I've had a little chocolate and have cooked meat. 

Symptoms:  The boob soreness has decreased, but is still there.  It's starting to get uncomfortable to sleep on my back (it feels like my organs are unhappy or something), and I am needing fewer naps.  My hips hurt during the night.  Nasal congestion is still going strong. Feeling fat. 

Never Been Here Before

   It's been a heartbreakingly difficult couple of weeks for some of my friends, and I feel guilty for where I am and for even posting something positive.  I've had my IUI buddy going through a miscarriage, my sweet friend dealing with the aftermath of a second IVF that ended in her 4th loss, and another dear friend lost her precious twins at 19 weeks.  It reminds me of how unfair life can be, but also how quickly our joy can be stolen from us.  So, for that reason, I'm sharing a happy update on my pregnancy.  Because there are no guarantees, and today, I need to try and celebrate it.
    At our ultrasound last week, we got to see our babies again, and I couldn't believe how much they looked like babies.  I was so shocked to even see them both there with beating hearts at 7w5d.  At our ultrasound at that point with our first baby, you could barely see anything.  Hardly any growth from the last time.  This time...BAM!  Babies!  We have another ultrasound this Friday (at 9w1d), and then the weekly ultrasounds are over.  It's going to be a strange transition, but what isn't at this point?  I hope and pray that this ultrasound Friday will be enough to put my mind at ease until I go back at about 12 weeks.  If measurements and heart rates are on target, I'll do my best to chill a little, and we'll probably make it Facebook official the following week.  It seems unreal.  I hope it is very real and that this story has a happier ending than any of our previous ones.


And since I didn't do this yet...
Symptoms:  major nasal congestion, constant nausea (no actual puking at this point, but some close calls!), fatigue, seriously sore boobs, hungry as hell, sore abs, strange feelings in my sides and around my pubic bone.
Food aversions:  raw meat, chocolate (crazy, because I usually love chocolate), other sweet stuff.
Cravings:  Changes all the time, but the only things I can consistently eat when everything else sounds disgusting are fruits and BabyBel cheeses.