More Surprises - Their Birth Story

I was surprised to make it to my scheduled c section Dec 23, but somehow,  the day came and I still had babies in my uterus that didn't seem that interested in coming on their own at that point.  I hadn't even had a contraction yet. I barely slept the night before, but I'm sure most women feel that way when they know the exact date their babies will be born.  Here I am looking giant and sleepy that morning.

I had my birth plan with me that wasn't all that complicated or out of the ordinary.  I know there are those people who have this elaborate, intimate experience they expect or demands like their labors be catered and the babies to be born with the assistance of Jesus and a unicorn, but that wasn't the kind of thing I was asking for.  Basically, I wanted them to not make me wait a hundred years to see my babies - lower the drape to show them to me immediately and delay any tests that could be delayed until after skin to skin contact.  The doctor and main nurse both went over it with me and agreed these were doable.  Apparently, as with most birth plans, even if what you want is "standard", it must all go out the window if you put in writing as a birth plan.  So, I ended up not having a great c section experience as far as getting to see and hold my babies.  Matt got to hold them pretty immediately, though, and a nurse offered to take this picture.

Meeting Miss Pearl (with my arms strapped down despite what they said they'd do)

We were pretty surprised to find that the babies were smaller than we expected.  Pearl came out first at 5bs14oz and William second at 5lbs7oz.  Once again reminding me how wrong those weight estimates tend to be.  Luckily, neither of them needed NICU time.  I was so excited to finally get to see and hold them in recovery, but I had the shakes so badly that I was afraid to attempt holding them just yet.  Finally, I was able to hold each of them for a couple minutes before they came to do the fundal massage on me again.  That's when things got pretty bad.  Apparently, I have a lazy uterus.  No wonder I had no contractions.  I hemorrhaged, they whisked the babies out to the nursery, and the rest of the day was a blur of pain and wanting to see my babies and being warned that I may need a blood transfusion and there was a possibility that I'd need a hysterectomy.  So, in case you're wondering how to suck some of the magic out of what should be the best day of someone's life, that's how.   We didn't see the babies again until late that night, and I was so out of it, I don't remember much of that night.  Matt was awesome and stepped up to do all the changing, burping, feeding, and asking doctors questions.   

The next night, Christmas Eve, I was told I needed to go ahead and have the transfusion.  Over about 6 hours, I received two units of blood, and on Christmas morning, I finally could think straight and had the strength to really hold my babies.  It kind of seems like that's the day they were born.  It was really the best Christmas ever.  We were finally discharged on the 27th.  

It's been hard even though we've been lucky enough to have tons of help from our families (our moms especially), but we're so grateful to finally be home with our babies.  I could not love or appreciate my husband more than I do now.  He is such an incredible, attentive dad already, and he's taken such good care of me as well.  This was more than worth the wait.  

The Final Countdown

I'm 37 weeks today!  By some magic, my hips have not yet separated from my body, and my pubic bone hasn't broken, despite what it feels like the past week.  At my appointments last week, we found that the babies had dropped, and I was 60% effaced but not dilated, and that both were still head down.  Anyone who's had a baby knows that doesn't really mean anything, though, so I'm not sure why they even tell you.  Or why I'm sharing that. They had a non stress test, where I had no contractions, and Pearl repeatedly kicked off the monitor.  She's going to be fun.  They also had a biophysical profile to check stuff like amniotic fluid levels, practice breathing, movement, and stuff like that.  They both did great!  Though Pearl made it difficult to get a decent measurement, she was estimated at 6lbs and William at 5lbs11oz.  I'll be interested to see if Pearl really is bigger when we meet them.  If so, I'm impressed!  She started out 20% behind in size, and now she's running the show in there.  Waking up William when she throws her fits, getting in his space, trying to kick through my belly and make her way out.  She's wild.

Yesterday, I had my last appointment with the perinatologist, and we got a little surprise.  William decided to flip around, so now he's breech.  We figure he had enough of being head to head with his sister and both of them being smashed between my hip bones.  I'm impressed that he found the motivation to move so much with so little room.  I think it may explain some real discomfort I had over the weekend, though.  So, while lots of women would be upset by this breech business, I'm ok with that, since it reaffirms my gut feeling to go ahead with a c section.  Plus, I want him to be comfortable.  Now his butt is against his sister's head.  Typical.  The ultrasound tech was nice enough to point out his fat rolls, so I look forward to him living up to his nickname.

Since it was our last appointment there, the perinatologist came to say goodbye and wish me luck.  She commented on how glad she was that my pregnancy had been uncomplicated, and she joked that it was pretty boring.  I am so happy to be boring in this situation!  She asked me about the date for my scheduled c section, and when I told her it's the 23rd, she said we may want to talk to the OB about moving it up a couple of days so I could be home for Christmas.  I told her this was the Christmas gift we'd been waiting for so long that we really didn't care if we were home.  But she went on to say that the largest study done on outcomes of twins born at 37 vs 38 weeks gestation showed that those born at 37 weeks to mothers with no complications are healthier than those born at 38 weeks (due to how the placentas start to deteriorate earlier in twins).  I talked to the OB today, and she said the hospital is booked for c sections Monday and Tuesday, but we could do it tomorrow!  Um, well, that's pretty sudden!  After talking with Matt, we decided to wait.  The babies aren't showing any signs that they need to get out sooner than later, and one study of less than 300 people isn't necessarily the final say in what's "the best thing", so I'm just hoping that we made the right choice for them.  I'm sure I'll be asking myself why I waited over the next 6 days as I hobble around feeling like my body is going to give out and my feet are going to explode.

12/12/12

Today has been bittersweet.  I'm 36w2d, the babies appear healthy, and so far, I've avoided the complications that I worried a lot about from the beginning of this pregnancy.  Those are all incredible, beautiful, wonderful things.  But today, I've been incredibly anxious about going into labor, because on this day three years ago, I was in a totally different place in our journey, leaving the hospital with a hole in my heart.

Three years ago today, I experienced the deepest heartache I ever have.  I went for our 3rd ultrasound for our first baby at 8 weeks and found out that baby had died in the two days since my last appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist we'd been seeing up to that point. I wish I could say that finally having a healthy pregnancy and being so close to having two babies in my arms has undone the pain of that loss, but it will always be there on some level.  I will never forget any detail of that day.  It was traumatic, and it changed my life. Having these babies will probably only make me wonder even more about what that baby would have been like or how the dynamic of our family might have been different.  I don't believe that it "happened for a reason" other than that sometimes nature is flawed and cruel, so that platitude I so often hear doesn't bring me any comfort.  What does bring me comfort is that even though I won't know that baby (or our second) on earth, I will carry them in my heart right along with any living children we have.  They'll never know hurt or fear or loss, and they were so loved. Fortunately, time has brought me peace, and instead of living everyday in the dark place I was in for a while, I'm able to be grateful for the time I did have and for the answers that loss pushed me to seek.   I may cry every year on this day for the rest of my life, but I think that's ok.  On this day three years ago, I said goodbye to our first child, and there's no forgetting that.  Because of that experience, I also won't forget how lucky I am once I finally hold Pearl and William in my arms and get the chance to know all I can about them.

43 Weeks

Ok, so I'll actually be 35 weeks tomorrow, but at my appointment this week, my fundal height was measuring 43 weeks.  So, yeah...my body has hit that point where it's had it.  And we have up to another 3 weeks to go.  If the babies are still growing on track, I should have about 10 pounds of baby in there at this point, as well as a two placentas, two sacs of amniotic fluid, and about twice as much blood in my body as when it isn't pregnant (apparently, you get double the blood volume with twins). So, I'm starting to feel as though I've got one of my dogs strapped to my body, and I'm kind of whiny about it.  Only my flip flops will fit, and it's winter here.  My hands swell so much overnight that it messes with the nerves and joints in my hands, and I can't grip anything until the swelling goes down, which also makes it difficult to push myself up out of bed.  My back and hips feel like they are about to just detach themselves from my body and leave.  Doesn't matter if I'm sitting, standing, or lying down.  They aren't happy.  I'm also the biggest clutz, which doesn't work well when I can't bend over very far or squat very low to pick up all the things I drop.  Yesterday, I knocked all the bottles I'd just washed and sterilized off the counter and onto the floor I haven't mopped in a scary long time.  Today, I tried to open a bag of cranberries, and they exploded and went all over the kitchen.  Stuff like this happens pretty much daily now thanks to my brick hands.  Still, even with all these weird adjustments, this is easier than the emotional pain I was in before we got so lucky as to conceive these two wiggly babies, and I know there's an end and that there are two huge rewards when I get there.

In my last post, I shared our baby girl's name, and now we have agreed on a real name for Chunk.  His name will be William like some of the awesome men in our families, including my dad, Matt's brother, both our grandfathers, and two of our uncles.  It also means "strong willed warrior", which seems appropriate, since I think he was our "surprise" baby that showed up a little later but caught up quickly and has been a great little grower.  Anyway, neither of these kids have middle names yet.  We decided on William on our anniversary, and I thought I'd better not push it when we had finally agreed on one thing.  We'll get there.  

I finally have the nursery just about finished, so I'll finally share pictures.  It's no Pinterest nursery, but I'm satisfied with it, considering that it's a very small room, but will still be plenty functional.   I've got to put up a couple of shelves and get a hamper, but thats basically it.  A rug would look nice, but I'm not up to dealing with the dog hair that a rug will collect, so we'll skip it for now.