Here's What's New

So, here I am in the second trimester, and it feels crazy.  I still think of the day I got my third beta result and just cried all day thinking it was over, but here I am at 15 weeks and 3 days with two babies who seem to be doing just fine.  It blows my mind.  Because I hadn't had an ultrasound for a while, I started to freak out a little, and doubt crept in.  My husband was out of the country without his phone for a little over 3 weeks, and that didn't help my anxiety at all, either.  So, I got very good with the Doppler, which helped some.  I did still have my moments of crazy where I'd think, "What if I'm finding the same heartbeat from different places and one is really dead?"  Yes, I have those morbid thoughts.  I do my best to stay calm, but when your first baby is discovered to have passed away after being very much alive two days before, it's hard to get past the fear of it happening again.  Yes, I'm beyond the point that tmiscarriage is most likely to happen, but I don't get to be naive anymore.  I've seen so many later losses that I can't live in denial.  That's not to say that I live in fear either.  I just have moments of fear, and that's ok.  I'm pretty sure that is what life is like as a parent.  If you don't worry about your kids, please call me and explain to me how you've accomplished this.
   
Since my last post, I've switched OBs.  I think I'm going to feel more secure with this one, and she'll have me seeing a high risk OB (MFM)  as well.  The previous OB was nice enough, but I am pretty sure she was far more confident in my ability to carry two babies than I am.  Her plan included treating me as a low risk singleton pregnancy plus a few extra cervical checks, and I'm not so comfortable with that.  If I'd had a normal pregnancy prior to this, that might change things, but I haven't.  When she told me I could travel until I'm 36 weeks, that was the nail in the coffin.  I'm not trying to deliver babies on a plane or in a car.  If she isn't concerned about that, I dont think I could trust her treatment plan or judgement.  The new OB said my uterus is measuring 20 weeks, so I don't feel quite as bad about looking giant, and she said that's normal for a twin pregnancy.  Hooray!  It feels good to be having a "normal" pregnancy!

Since we asked the new OBs office about an ultrasound, and they weren't planning to do one since they're sending me to the MFM for one, we scheduled one at a private place so we could find out genders.   Matt got home the day before, and was pretty surprised by how my bump has blown up.  I think that made it more real for him.  The place we went to guarantees they can confirm gender by 13 weeks, which seems so early!   Ours was at 15 weeks exactly, and both babies measured 15w6d.  They determined right away that one baby is a girl.  I'd be over the moon no matter what, but a little part of me has been hoping for one of each, because I would like to have one of each eventually, and we don't have the luxury of feeling confident we can have more children after this.  So, after lots of messing with us, the second baby finally gave us a decent view, and they determined that one is a boy.  We couldn't believe it!  Really, though, just seeing them again and seeing them move and stretch was so incredible and reassuring.  There were definitely a few tears shed by me.  We went to celebrate after with lunch at this southern place, and it was just the perfect day!  Anatomy scan is scheduled for Aug 12, and then we will be headed home to visit family before I'm too big to fit in a car.


15 weeks:
Cravings: Veggie wraps, salads, watermelon, chocolate coconut milk
Food aversions:  Pretty much everything else
Symptoms:  Getting worn out easily, hip pain, still congested, peeing frequently, nausea, crazy dreams/nightmares, round ligament pain